You sign up for the mic, but don't have an instrument so you'll have to rely on doing some comedy. After 10 minutes of Poetry Pat, it's your turn to get on stage. You hurry up to the mic in a way that somehow alerts everyone's subconscious that you are not, nor have you ever been, cool. You debate between starting with a killer one-liner that you thought of five years ago, or an off-the-cuff joke about the local stereotypes.