📜 Some Haikus I Wrote


Haikus are arbitrary. In English, anyway.


🍞

Bread can become toast
Toast cannot turn into bread
That's a commitment

Childhood was hard
T-ball was too difficult
Emotionally

👓

Most cats need glasses
We just have no idea
We could make billions

🐾

Weasels shouldn't pop
If some weasels come at me
They should take their time

🍦

Vanilla ice cream
It's actually quite good
The real bore is you

🔥

I like marshmallows
They should have a spicy kind
Name them harshmallows

👌

Dumb toy idea
The never ending yo-yo
Throw it and it's gone

It's finally here
Documentary on clocks
Wow, it's about time

🌉

London Bridge falling
Falling falling falling down
Gotta go around

💧

Water is scary
Sometimes you have to face fears
No soda today

🐚

Seahorses are cool
If you disagree you're wrong
Seahorses don't bite

🐈

My cat is angry
He's like really really mad
Catnip backfired

🐕

What is a name-o?
I only know one option
B I N G O

🍌

Bananas can bruise
The bruises will never heal
Those poor bananas

🎅

Nightmare for Christmas
Santa shows up in your bed
You kind of like it

🚌

On the bus bus bus
Sometimes people cuss cuss cuss
Except not this time

👕

My shirts are too small
Dryer is too powerful
Extra extra hot

Writing exercise
Turn everything to haikus
It will distract you



🍀 Bonus: Some Limericks I Wrote


Maybe I wanted to write these in honor of my Irish heritage, or maybe I've lost control of my life. It's most likely a combination. Also I want to make them into a song at some point.


In the world's longest game of tic tac toe
He couldn't decide where to put the O
He didn't want to lose
So he kept up the ruse
That started sixty-seven years ago

A terrible happy meal toy
Brings sadness to each girl and boy
Pinocchio pencil
A worthless utensil
I'm sick of this corporate ploy

🎈

There was a man who could get snappy
Since inside he felt rather crappy
He inhaled a balloon
With the words "Get Well Soon"
His chipmunk voice made people happy

🤠

A cowboy walked into a bar
And with him he brought a guitar
He played a nice ballad
And got a free salad
He felt like a big superstar

🎊

ArbitraryWorldVillageLand
It's so disappointingly grand
Everything's every color
And it can't get much duller
It's so fascinatingly bland

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